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Author Topic: The NEW New rules  (Read 2370 times)

Offline Mr Writer

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The NEW New rules
« on: April 11, 2016, 06:02:28 pm »
This is not a hugbox. If someone can ever prove to me that this place is a hugbox, I will tender my resignation and burn the site to the ground. It will never be a hugbox. Hugboxes are fucking awful shitty places and I would never want to see this place become one.

*These rules are subject to change. Feel free to request previous versions of rules. They will be kept if possible.*

MOST IMPORTANT RULE #1: Don't be a dick
If it's a joke, that's fine. If someone isn't finding the joke funny, that's fine too, not everyone has the same sense of humour. If someone's upset by it, and asks you, or someone else asks you to stop, then it's time to stop. If something you are saying or doing is causing someone distress, and they have a good reason to be upset by it, and they're asking you to stop, then you stop. A good reason meaning they have a legitimate reason. That's just common courtesy. Intentionally antagonizing someone is being a dick. If you're friends, and you do it to each other for fun, that's fine. Just remember not everyone is as receptive to the same jokes. See Rule 3 for more.

If you are here to ask for nudes, hit on people, or just be a perv, or if you are trying to impose yourself, get information about people, try to contact people without their consent outside of our site, we will ban you immediately. Do not use this site as a place to "hook up". Relationships happen here, they blossom here, but do not come here solely expecting one to happen. This is a place for BDSM and Petplay, not a meet+fuck. 

Any user who complains that you are trying to push your way into their life will be investigated, and dealt with harshly, resulting in immediate action, up to and including a ban, and being reported to the relevant legal authorities. There are other websites for people who will willingly give you nudes and all of their information, go find them.

Don't ask for people to send you things in the mail, don't send people things in the mail, don't eat pills people send you in the mail, this is a general disclaimer. Do not get killed and then sue us.

If you are arguing and things turn into a shitstorm, we'll boot you off the site to go argue somewhere else. We don't give a fuck if you have a huge fight and hate someone, just don't shit up our site with it. If you refuse to leave, you will be banned. If you get into a heated debate, take it off site. I don't care if it's a cordial debate, or a vitriolic shitstorm. We don't want huge walls of text spamming our site. You're not the only two or three people here. Other people might want to use it too.


Report it. To a mod or an admin. PM, chat message, site PM, email, skype, steam, any communication platform will do. Tell us about it. No matter what it is, if something is concerning you, tell us. If it doesn't get reported, and we don't see it, it won't get fixed, because we're not omniscient wizards who see all and know all. Report stuff. Whatever it is. We would rather get 100 reports that lead to nothing than miss something important. If you are not sure if something is a problem, ask someone. You will get an answer.

If it doesn't get reported, and no one sees it happen, then it is not physically possible for it to be solved. We are not gods. We cannot see everything. We do not have the time to sit down at the end of every day and read back through the entire chat log to look for issues.


This is a forum for Pets and Owners, Switches, and everything in between. The most important word is RESPECT at all times. You respect everyone, no matter of whether they are a dominant or submissive, whether they believe in something radically different to you, even if someone's being a dick, that's no reason to be a dick back to them while on our site. If someone meets Rule 1 Standards, report it and it will get dealt with. Don't try to deal with it yourself.

Pets, slaves, subs, switches, even owners and doms, sometimes enjoy being treated disrespectfully, but that is at least on some level consensual. That is for them to do with another consenting adult. That does not give anyone the right to disrespect anyone they want, regardless of their percieved "status" in BDSM. This will result in immediate action, up to and including a ban. 

Disagreeing with someone is fine. Respectfully addressing someone's opinion and giving your point of view is fine. If you don't know the difference between that and being a dick, then you'll find out soon enough when a mod tells you to cut the shit, or you get banned. This is not something you can just define. If you don't know the difference, no amount of explaining the difference will help.

Don't assume everyone shares your sense of humour. If you regularly use our chat, and regularly joke around, don't automatically assume everyone else will get that humour. When you assume you make an "ass" of "u" and "me". If you know people in chat, and want to joke around with them, go for it. Just don't assume everyone will take jokes the same way. If someone reports it as a problem, then it will be treated as a problem.

Just because someone is a Submissive, does not make them YOUR Submissive, and just because someone is a Dominant, does not make them YOUR dominant.

Queen Bees who just want to rule the roost are not welcome. Don't even bother. Go to the other hovels where your kind are welcomed. We don't have a Queen Bee here, and that's not an excuse for you to try to take that imaginary position. Anyone who displays Queen-Bee-Like behavior will be highlighted, monitored by us mods, and banned.

RULE 4: BDSM Philosophy

Everyone has their own approach to BDSM. It does not have a rulebook. It does not have "official" anything. Anyone or anywhere claiming to be "official" in regards to BDSM is full of shit, and you should treat it as such. BDSM is just fun sex things, and other kinky shit. As such, there is no "right" or "wrong" in BDSM, except when it comes to the fundamentals:
Safe, Sane, Consentual. If you're not doing those three, you're doing something wrong. That's nothing to do with BDSM, those are just things you should ALWAYS be doing. If you don't know what Safe, Sane and Consentual implies, then ask someone before you try BDSM IRL. You should understand these three principles before you let someone tie you up, or before you tie someone up, etc.

RULE 5: How we moderate

If a mod thinks you deserve a warning, you may get one. You are not entitled to one. If a mod thinks things are not yet out of hand, they can tell you to stop before they start handing out bans. If you don't listen to that warning, you will get banned. You are not entitled to warnings. They are entirely optional. They are a way of saving us the bother of banning you if we think a situation is recoverable. You will not always get a warning. You might get no warning. It is up to you to know the rules, and when you might be breaking them. It is up to the mods to hand out discipline as per the rules.

If a mod tells you to stop, you stop. You don't argue, you don't whine or complain, you just stop. If you have a problem, you report it. You tell one of the mods you want it to be looked into, and it will be looked into. 100% of things reported to us get looked into. We would rather we get 100 false reports than something go unreported. If you report a mod for shutting stuff down inappropriately, and that's what they're doing, it will be dealt with. We will either correct the behavior, or remove their mod/admin status, or ban them. Whatever is necessary.

The mods review anything at any time that is either submitted to us, reported to us, or we see ourselves. This is not an immediate process in most cases, but we will act on it as quickly as we can. If we see something happening, we will ban the people involved/responsible, but we can't be everywhere at once. What you can rest assured of is EVERY SINGLE THING reported to us will be reviewed and punished if need be. You can report anything, and we will review it. If you report something, and we don't think it's a problem, YOU WILL NOT GET IN TROUBLE. Report EVERYTHING that is causing YOU a problem, and we will deal with it. Just don't abuse this. Report stuff that is actually a problem for you. Either we will deal with the issues, or tell you why we won't.

If you want to know something, ask us. We will tell you if we can. We are going to be as open as we can, and communicate as much as we can. If you are banned, please, tell us everything you want to say, just do so in a private way, and do so in a way that is respectful to everyone, yourself included. Show us evidence, tell us things, provide information. Talk to us. Ask us for information. It might not be immediate, but you will get it.

If we think someone has broken rules, or they were out of line, they'll either be banned when we see it, or after the fact. Then while they are banned, we will review it and see if we need to unban them, when to unban them, or increase the sentence up to a permaban, or worse. Do not interfere with mod shit, but please ask any questions you have. We will be as open as we can, as long as it does not involve divulging personal information.

Let me make this clear: Our new policy is shoot first, ask questions later. We would rather ban you and make a mistake than let you go unbanned and cause more shit. We are stopping things dead before they progress.

Private messages are private. We only look at them if we are required to. In the past, there have been legal issues which required us to look at private messages, and then contact legal authorities. Your privacy is important, but not more important than the law, and people's safety.

RULE 6: Furries

I'm not here to argue about why Petplay and Furry fetishes are different. If you don't know that on your own, or aren't willing to figure out for yourself, this isn't the place to explain it. All I'll say is this: They are different fetishes, and this is not a Furry fetish site.

People with Furry fetishes are MORE than welcome, but please remember the following:
Furry Fetishes have a tendency to take things over. If you want to discuss Furry Fetish, please do so respectfully, and DO NOT try to cloud out other discussion. A lot of people don't like Furries. This is not a Furry Rights activist site. If someone's being a dick to you, tell us, but if they're just bashing Furry fetish/community,  that's just something that happens, and there's reasons why it happens. It's not kinkshaming to say Furries, or other fetishes, have some very fucking awful communities.

In summary:  If you have arrived at our site, and are just here to discuss Furry, please keep in mind, this is not a Furry site. If you like petplay, welcome! If you want to talk about Furry, feel free. Just remember, this isn't a furry site.

RULE 7: Exhibitionism

The concepts of punishment and discipline exist in BDSM. But that is regulated solely to your individual relationships and private lives. Carrying out any form of "punishment" against someone through the medium of our site, is discouraged, if only to avoid confusion. Please don't bring us into your kink without our consent, by using this as a place for public punishments/atonement. Not everyone wants to be involved necessarily, so please do not impose your kink on others, who may not be so receptive to it. This will result in immediate action, up to and including a ban.

Exhibitionism is directly involving ANY aspect of your personal relationship in our site. Talking about it is fine. Asking other people to degrade your submissive is not. Telling people about something you did to discipline your submissive is fine. Asking other people to discipline your submissive for you through the site is not. Telling our site why you're not allowed to do something is fine. Telling our site to pass on messages to your dominant for you, because you're not allowed to speak to them, is not.

If you open your relationship up to our site, then everyone involved in it becomes a part of your relationship. Not everyone wants to be a part of it. Talking about stuff good. Getting other people involved bad. In your relationships, you set the limits. If you open it up to multiple people, they don't know the ins and outs of all your limits. They'll do whatever they want, and eventually, someone gets hurt. KEEP YOUR PRIVATE RELATIONSHIPS EXCLUSIVE. As soon as you exhibit, you're inviting other people to get involved.

Our site is not a 24/7 BDSM meet. We are not here to referee your personal relationship in a group environment. We don't want to have to get involved in your personal relationships in any way.

Remember, this site is also for people who are curious about BDSM, or just visiting out of interest. They may not be as open to the concept as more experienced members. Please keep your private activities private, and find willing participants for your exhibitionism!

RULE 8: The Law

Anything illegal, or discussion of anything illegal, or generally agreed upon to be "immoral" from the perspective of the Law, is not allowed in our discussion. This is not due to discrimination, this is to keep in line with the Laws as agreed upon by relevant countries, nations, or states. If a mod, or admin, decides you need to stop talking about what you are talking about, stop talking about it, or else this will result in immediate action, up to and including a ban.

There are a lot of legal systems, yes. If something is legal in your country, but not in most, that does not make it okay to discuss. If something is legal in most places, but not in a few, then it is okay to talk about. IF YOU ARE UNSURE, ASK A MOD, OR LISTEN TO THEM.

This is especially in regards to the legal system in your own country. If it's not legal in your country, don't talk about you yourself breaking the law.

This includes, BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO -
Illegal substance use/abuse
Illegal weapon ownership
Planning/past/executing illegal

Talking about a bank robbery is fine. Talking about how banks get robbed is fine. Talking about how you personally plan to rob a bank is not.

RULE 9: Minimum Age

If you are under 18, this site is not for you, even if the age of consent in your country is under 18. If the age of consent in your country is OVER 18, you should avoid this site also. This should not require any more explanation, but just in case:

How old are you? If that number is less than 18, get off our site until it is equal to or more than 18.

RULE 10: Don't be an idiot

Doing anything which can jeapordize your own privacy is your fault, and we don't take responsibility for you if it happens. We will only take responsibity if you have taken reasonable measures to protect your own privacy

A reminder to everyone who posts here: linking your own personal information in any form, I.E. Names, Email, Facebook Links, cause a leak of your own personal information, please take consideration in revealing information about yourself when posting on our forum. Keep your own safety in mind and only do so with those you trust. While we endeavour to make this a safe, accepting, caring environment, we can't police everyone everywhere all the time. Just be careful with your own personal information! WE ARE NOT REPONSIBLE FOR YOUR STUPIDITY.

RULE 11: Fifty Shades of Grey is a bad intro to BDSM

It's a shit book, which preaches a very bad and unhealthy approach to BDSM when it comes to Safe, Sane and Consentual. Please see Rule 3.

You can like it if you want, but don't expect people to sing it's praises.

If everything you know about BDSM comes from this book and/or porn, you need to learn more about BDSM before claiming to be in any way experienced. This is extremely misleading, and we will take it as you being a potential threat to potential partners on your part either through ignorance or malice, and you will be either corrected, or banned.

This site has a lot of very experienced BDSM enthusiasts. You should be wary if you cite this book or just porn as your "experience".

RULE 12: Advertising

Please contact a mod/admin if you want to advertise here. We will delete unapproved advertisements.

RULE 13: If you are banned

*Do not try to visit the site. Ban evasion, if proven, is an instant permanent ban, unless there are extenuating circumstances, and you will be asked to provide your reasons for ban evasion immediately.
*Do not harass people, from the site, mods, or admins regarding your ban. This includes trying to get people to negotiate your ban on your behalf.
*Do feel free to request information on your ban, within reason. If you take advantage of this, you will simply not be given any further information.
*We will resolve all disciplinary actions within 48 hours if possible, keeping in mind that our moderation team is an international group.
*Everything you say and do can contribute to your ban, even after it's in place.
*If we contact you for more information about your ban, and the disciplinary issue it is regarding, please respond in a timely fashion.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2018, 03:35:43 am by Mr Writer »

Offline Mr Writer

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Re: The NEW New rules
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2016, 06:02:36 pm »

Here's a list of things you need to accept. If you read nothing else on this list, at least know this stuff.

*It takes the mods a while to get things done because we're willing to have more than just one person make a decision. We let mods/admins discuss and come to a fair decision, a majority agreement, instead of a dictatorship. This site could easily be ruled with an utterly ruthless iron fist. I, Mr Writer, would happily sit on a throne with the ban hammer never leaving my hand, instantly permabanning anyone. It's not like that, we give everyone a chance, we look at all the evidence, we discuss, we vote, we make sure things are as fair as they reasonably can be.
*It's not a democracy, and it's also not a dictatorship. That means you do not bitch about "muh freedums", and we will continue to give everyone a fair chance when we moderate. Tough but fair.
*You are not entitled to shit. You get what you get.
*Do what the mods tell you. If they are telling you to do something, it is almost certainly for a good reason. Report it if you're unsure.
*Mods should only tell you to do something if the rules are in jeapordy of being broken. If they are being a problem, report it, do not try to deal with it yourself.
*The mods have the final say in all matters. If you don't like that, too bad. Once we make a decision, it is final, unless you have something new to show us, or we find a reason to change our minds.
*The rules are subject to change and interpretation at any time. We can change the rules if we want to suit the situation at hand. This list of rules is therefore not all inclusive or exhaustive.
*We can ignore, change, modify, interpret the rules however we want. If that is an issue for you, that's a shame. This is for us to be able to respond to any situation without people whining "HURR DURR ITS NOT IN THU ROOLZ". We'll change the rules if it lets us deal with a problem.
*If you're genuinely racist, sexist, etc, that's not ok. Keep that shit to yourself.
*If you have any kind of problem, TELL US. If you have a problem and don't tell us about it, then it's your fault if it doesn't get dealt with, and your problem alone. We are not psychic. If something is actually a problem, then actually tell us about it.
*If you want to report a problem, email or PM one of the mods/admins, talk to one of the mods/admins in chat, if you have any of us added on any external communications platform tell us through that.
*If you are reporting a problem, and a problem has happened either to you or someone else, please have a rough time/date/persons involved written down somewhere so we know where to look in our chat logs for the incident or incidents in question.
*If you do not report a problem, you are the one letting that problem continue and happen to other people as well. We can't fix things we don't know about.
*If you don't report something within a reasonable amount of time, which we define as two (2) days, or fourty-eight (48) hours, then we are not getting involved. If you didn't report it, and no one else reported it, and none of the mods noticed it, or were told about it, then it wasn't a problem.
*If you have a good reason for missing this 48 hour window, please let us know. We will still look into it outside of this window if you can give us a good reason why it went unreported.
*If something is a problem, you tell someone about it right away, regardless of anything else.
*If you're not sure if it's a problem, ask someone.
*Don't act entitled at any time. Do not assume entitlement.
*If you don't like any of the rules, too bad. You don't have to like them. Feel free to report anything about them that concerns you.
*If any of the rules has an obvious flaw, or you have a concern that they may cause an issue or a conflict, or if you simply think they can be improved, or if you just simply want to tell us how you feel about them, please tell us!
*If you don't like any of the mods, too bad. You don't have to like them. Feel free to report anything they do that concerns you.
*If you don't like any of the users, too bad. You don't have to like them. Feel free to report anything they do that concerns you.
*If you see a problem with our site, tell us about it. If we don't do anything about the problem, then either it's not a problem, or this site must be just awful. Either way, feel free not to use a site you don't like.
*We forget nothing. We have a record of every disciplinary issue on the site, and we take your record into account if you cause shit. People who have caused problems in the past will be treated even more harshly.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2016, 12:24:31 am by Mr Writer »


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